Sunday, May 5, 2024

The Tesla Kill Box

 The Tesla Kill Box needs fresh blood work for its spells.

From the internet

  • I bought a truck from an antichrist & it bit me, still think it's hecking cool tho
  • This is why you don't make the door panels out of stainless steel lol. I accidentally left my hand in the door when it closed a couple of nights ago. If that door was made stainless steel i would have lost my fingers. 
  • Tesla fanboys will start flexing their scars as proof that they are loyal to the brand
  • It’s totally my fault guys not Elon musks fault. Elon I love you please notice me
  •  cultists defends his daddy Elons creation. Sore sanding that sharp piece of metal is just impossible for multi bilion company it is
  • It's Tesla's fault. Car doors are supposed to be rounded, not sharp as a razor blade, wtf
  • A testament to the precision death engineering of Das CyberTrukk!
  •  jewish memetic scifi conman raped them in the heads

I've done the same thing in every car IN MY LIFE, and they NEVER opened me up like a can of tuna. This is an intentional design flaw. It is a kill box after all.


  • pay premium for it
  • still say you are clumsy
  • still say you love the thing that tries to kill you
  • Ignore the bone fatigue and soreness in your kidneys from sitting in a toxic magnetic field set in frequencies designed against the immune system.
  • Don't mind that the batteries suddenly go dead while driving and you get a Tesla blue screen of death, every other time you drive it.
  • Keep justifying the expenditure of buying and keeping the thing charged at your house. 
  • Keep a Yahama gas charger and two gallons of gas in your back storage area (Tesla even has a place for these items and you can buy them with the car  or truck)because of frequent power downs, YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER.)
  • Keep lying to yourself that this was a good thing to do, because, updoots from your jewbie friends.
  • Have more money than good sense.
  • Tesla and other electric cars will soon be used to limit how far you can drive, how often you can drive and where you can drive. All electric cars now are being updated with software when this plan is finally implemented. The scary thing is they are also starting to use this on gas powered vehicles as well.

 be american
>get stabbed by your car
>praise your car on social media
>tip Elon Musk
>get shot for only tipping 20% instead of 25%
>tip assassin
>call ambulance
>ride costs $60,000.00 (it's a 2 minute drive)
>tip ambulance driver
>arrive at hospital
>clap for driver
>wound treatment costs $7 million (plus tip)


This is not an oversight. This is intentional. Thanks heavens for the Elon Curse.

  •  You will have the cybertruck
  • You will drive it using your neuralink implant
  • You will interact with people and know the world through your cybertruck's starlink, that will allow your conciousness to see the internet, while the cybertruck drives your weakening body around hungry mob of illegals in Houston
  • You will pullover and be exposed to pornographic images while your cybertruck cooms you when it detects your psyche has dipped below a threshold of tolerance for this reality
  • You will be fed the onions through a tube in your cybertruck so you do not have to leave it
  • You will afford housing because you will never leave your truck again


Then you find out in the few seconds of remaining oxygen left, that the holes for the release latch are under impossible to remove door handles or are TOO SMALL for anyone's finger. Start crying as the black smoke and flames reach your butt.