USS George Floyd destroyed. — US to invade Iran.
(CNN) — The DOD reported that the
John Money class submarine USS George Floyd was crushed yesterday at
1900 hours EST by racist water pressure at the bottom of the Marianas
Trench.
The Pentagon reluctantly released an audio
transmission of captain José Luis Hernández García's (xe/xer) last
words: "I can't breathe.".
The George Floyd had the
first fully transgender crew made up of people of the global
majority. Designed by a diverse team of engineers, the vessel was
part of the US Navy's next-generation submarine class named after
psychologist and national hero John Money, the man who invented the
terms "gender identity," "sexual orientation,"
and "gender role.". It was commissioned in the year 2021
for a total cost of $33 billion and launched only two weeks ago.
US
response: In a televised speech from the Oval Office, President
Travis Scott (he/him) vowed revenge for the USS George Floyd's crew
by invading Iran to free the Persian LGBTTIQQ2SAA+ community and
protect Iranian women's right to abortion.
The commander-in-chief was so
distraught by the tragic event, that Vice President duo Lana
Wachowski and Lilly Wachowski (they/both) had to step in and continue
the speech. They declared an indefinite period of national mourning
to honor the heroic crew of the George Floyd and allow the American
people to regain optimal mental health.
UN Chief extremely
concerned: UN Secretary General Greta Thunberg urged all parties to
keep in mind the ecological ramifications of an all-out military
conflict and to reduce CO2 emissions during the coming war.
WHO
raises alarm: The Director-General of the World Health Organization,
Bill Gates, has raised the alarm over the mobilization of troops
causing a surge in COVID-19 transmission. He urged world leaders to
make sure all their soldiers have been given the necessary vaccine
boosters.
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A bit of humor. DB
