YOU'RE A SIMPLE JOHN FROM THE STATE OF COLORADO
@
YOU READ ON
REDDIT ABOUT HOW UKRAINIAN TRACTOR DRIVERS WITH DOUBLE-BARRELED GUNS
DESTROY 100 RUSSIAN TANKS PER MINUTE, WHILE THE IVANS LEFT WITHOUT FUEL
AND PROVISIONS DESERT BY THE MILLIONS
@
URGENTLY PACKING YOUR AIR SOFT TACTICS
@
WHILE
YOU'RE GOING TO THE AIRPORT, YOU'LL SAVOR HOW YOU'LL ARRANGE A SAFARI
FOR DIRTY RUSSIAN CONSCRIPTS WITH ONE THREE-LINE FOR TEN
@
JUST LIKE IN IRAQ AND AFGHANISTAN!
@
ARRIVING IN UKRAINE
@
YOU
ARRIVE AT THE HEADQUARTERS OF THE "VOLUNTEERS", HANG OUT WITH OTHER REDDITORS, MAKE EPIC PHOTOS IN A BODY KIT WITH COMMENTS LIKE "RUSSIAN
WARSHIP IDI NAHUI!"
@
SUDDENLY A UKRAINIAN CALIBER MISSILE FLIES THROUGH THE WINDOW AND KILLS YOUR ENTIRE REDDIT MEETING ON THE SPOT
@
IT TEARS OFF YOUR LEGS AND ASS
@
THE LAST THING YOU SEE IS THE UKRAINIANS DRESSING YOU UP IN A RUSSIAN UNIFORM FOR SOME REASON AND TAKING PICTURES
And the trannies with guns are dying and disappearing as fast as they show their faces.
Sit tight reddit trannies. Avengers are gonna assemble anytime now; the ghost of Kiev is gonna decimate Russia anytime now; captain ~~America~~ zelensky is gonna fly in anytime now to rescue your axe wound.
Hello, Redditor, thanks for joining.
Here is your AK-47 and here is your place to die colorfully under
"Russian" shelling to help us play pity for the western audience. Your deaths help sell the "war."
Just two more weeks.
They/them pronouns changed to was/were
 |
| Where are my trans comrades? Where are the Russians? I only see Uky guys and they are pointing their guns at me. Stop Pointing your guns at m...BANG BANG... |
 |
| Zelensky needs to be "comforted" by reddit trannies. |
- volunteer for Ukraine
- get to Ukraine
- meet up with volunteers
- hotel blown up
- dead volunteers
- sent to front line
- convoy attacked by AZOV
- call for air support
- oh wait no air support or artillery
- dead volunteers
- make my way back to camp
- Ukrainians start shooting at my group
- dead volunteers
- Make it back to Kiev
- start to walk around downtown
- Ukraine starts to shell
- dead volunteers
- Go to store
- Ukrainian militias loot the store
- dead volunteers
- leave Ukraine
- US/CIA drone strikes my vehicle to stop my field reporting
- Parents bury me using my REAL name and GENDER
